Nia: Mental Health Through Movement & Music

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Overcoming Mental Illness & Anorexia

Thanks to my dear friend 

Cindy Ashton 

for having me on her 

Monster-Kissing Secrets internet radio show.

It's because of dear souls like Cindy 

that I can passionately tell my tale 

while sharing insights about crawling out of seemingly bottomless pits.

Best part of the whole story is the 

part about how Nia was 
(and still is) 

a major part of my wellness plan.

Listen to the interview here 

Hey, why not be be inspired in print? 

Purchase Cindy's Monster-Kissing book!

Asking me about my weight....

is NOT okay.

One more time, with feeling:

Asking me about my weight is NOT okay.

Over the past 3 days, I've had at least as many questions about my weight.

I tried to pass the questions off like they don't bother me. I noticed myself avoiding the requisite response that usually follows a yes/no question.

Instead of confirmation or denial, I changed the subject:

"My hair's longer, that's all"

"My medication affects my weight".

But those responses are a reminder that questions about my weight DO still bother me.

I'm reminded that my subconscious still expends quite of bit of energy uselessly thinking about bodies (mine and therefore others) in absolute terms:
too __________,
not __________ enough.

Which makes me realize that even though I have said goodbye to Anorexia, I am still sensitive to comments about appearance. And even though I spread the message about body acceptance through my volunteer work with Sheena's Place, there is still a wee place inside me that needs to really embody that message.

There are days when I struggle with having to take my meds to help manage Bipolar Disorder. The fact that my meds affect my weight does not make them popular with me on those days.

So I have to talk myself out of using the weight gain side effect as an excuse to ditch the pharmaceuticals (which really do help me....it's just that occasionally my bipolar brain tries to convince me otherwise by glamorizing mania and the accompanying weight loss).

My appearance is not who I am, so my weight is quite irrelevant. I am sensational because I ebb and flow and change and evolve.

In summary, Asking me about my weight is NOT okay.
(it actually sets me back a little)



For more information about healing from body image issues or eating disorders, check out Sheena's Place ~ they offered me so much. Also, take a look at the National Eating Disorders Information Centre (NEDIC) website ~ the beautiful picture above comes from them.

Sunday Scribblings # 92 - Healing

Sunday Scribblings is asking me to talk about

Healing.

I can't help it. This is a gift of another opportunity for me to speak about Nia

I recently submitted an article to ParticipACTION. It's this Canadian initiative to motivate Canadians to get active and be healthy. When I was a kid, ParticipACTION made it's way into the classroom. It was hip to be healthy.

In the late 80s and for most of the 90s it wasn't all that cool (or at least publicized) to be fit.

Then a resurgence of ParticipACTION occured a few years back.

And I quickly submitted my fitness/wellness story to the online call. It was about Nia (and a whole lot more). It was rejected at first - a bit too graphic, I suppose. Anorexia and Bipolar Disorder can be that way.

In any case, they eventually accepted an edited version of my wellness & healing saga. See it here:


I still find much healing through Nia
There are days when I don't want to wake up (and I don't!!!), and I don't want to take my meds (sometimes I don't....until Paul catches on to me). But Nia is a big part of my self-regulation plan.

It has given me confidence beyond belief. Take a look at this. See how confident I am now?



Nia. Through movement I found health....

Sunday Scribblings #56 - Chance Encounter

Is there really such a thing as a chance encounter?

When I think seriously about it, I'm not sure that chance encounters truly exist.

There are a ga-jillion concepts related to the idea of chance encounters: unexpected events, luck, accidents, coincidence, etc. But really, I don't think that anything that happens is truly "out of the blue".

To me, concepts like fate, destiny, karma, serendipity, providence, synchronicity, and kismet are much more likely.

They suggest that there is something behind what happens in our lives. And there is a lot of truth in that for me. On the one hand, I believe that something bigger, something much more magnificent is more responsible for my life-script than I am.

Believing that means I'm surrendering to what Doris Day so brilliantly reminded us in her catchy/kitchy tune "Que sera, sera". She had a good point.

So call it chance, or likelihood, or probability, or whatever other statistical term you're familiar with, but this force that causes events to happen is just that - an energetic influence.

Was it chance that I experienced a brush with MS at the age of 20 that paralyzed the left side of my body and landed me in the hospital? No. Because that opened the door to a beautiful relationship with Paul, who has been my loving and caring husband for the last 5 years. That was part of something bigger and better than where I was at previously.

Was it just a coincidence that I was asked to take a mental health leave from my work at the Aphasia Institute in the fall of 2005? Nope. That led me to India, which led me to healing, and opened the door to a new life, one including Nia.

I could go on, but maybe you get the point?

I met a very wise woman when I was quite ill and managing the effects of Bipolar Disorder and Anorexia. Her name was L _ _ _ _ _ , and she and I attend a support group through the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario at Our Sister's Place.

When L _ _ _ _ _ _ became ill, she told her teenaged children that she was now releasing them to the universe to take care of them. She had faith that the universe was capable. And it was. And it is.

So, on the one hand, I'm saying there's something beyond just me. I like the idea that I am looked after by the universe. That's a beautiful concept that rests well within me.

On the other hand, I also think that I play a role in what happens to a certain extent. Not that I control what will happen, that's beyond me. More so that if I am living in a place of acceptance, I will be guided to what I need.

So here's what I'm working with these days. If I look closely enough, keep my eyes and ears open, talk to people, put myself in the right places, and live life with a readiness and openness to opportunity, it's all there. Everything I need is all there. And no way is anything just by accident.

A dear dear friend Andrea reminded me yesterday that events in our lives happen to teach us lessons. To inform us of our own power.

I'm beginning to see that what happens to me is simply moving me closer and closer to my own divinity.