Sunday, October 7, 2007
Not my fault, but still,
Weakness of character, failure, act of wrongdoing.
Rushing through the kitchen, I brush past the corner of the fridge,
"Sorry", then a laugh.
Talking to my mom, I tell her I'm a little down.
"I'm sorry honey". That's taking responsibility to the extreme. Unreasonable.
Over-used, watered down, becoming meaningless.
"Spare some change?"
"Sorry". But I'm NOT sorry. There's so much more to it than that.
"Sorry for living!". What self-bashing shame that expression taught us!
Taking care of myself by saying "no", followed by
"I'm sorry" links selfishness and guilt to self-care.
"You're not sorry, you're just sorry you got caught".
A disciplinary check on my conscience growing up.
Yeah, I learned to repent, to be remorseful.
I was born to be sorry.
Sorry for the original "sin" (the sin of thinking for oneself).
How many hours dd I spend up there at that mercy seat crying my eyes out,
being "sorry" and pathetically unsatisfactory to everyone around me?
What a waste of emotional well-being and a sabotage to my self esteem.
Act, then explain
A hallmark Parker Brother's board game,
an apology for bumping opponents back to the start.
I AM SORRY.