Sunday Scribblings #42 - Out of This World

Out of this world experiences are those that bring me into my essence.
Those brief and celebratory moments where everything is ok, where I am at peace, and where
the sensation is one of pure pleasure.
I feel quite privileged to have had such precious moments of ease wrapped up with the excitement of living.
I think in the moment that these things are happening, what I'm experiencing is awe; total amazement at the wonder of what is happening.
Yeah, that's a pretty accurate way of describing it.






Here's a shot of me being jolted out of the Arabian Sea
in India ~ I laughed hysterically each time
I was propelled out of the water by the
force of the waves!


So what are these exceptional flashes of wonder?

* realizing as a little girl that my Grampy was always LISTENING to me after I off-handedly said I'd like to try crab while visiting him in Vancouver, BC and he went to the trouble to buy it FRESH and serve it for dinner that same night

* discovering that I had the will and strength to carry on with Multiple Sclerosis after a scary hospitalization at the age of 20

* being one of 19 out of 400 applicants to be accepted into University of Toronto's Master of Health Sciences program in Speech-Language Pathology (and then being totally raised onto a pedestal by lovely Paul ~ my then boyfriend and now husband ~ because of it)

* being a co-owner of my own house at the age of 25 (all those years of frugal saving paid off....)

* cuddling a Koala in Australia (gawd, I can't find the picture to show you how this shot looked just like a family portrait - me, Paul and young sleepy Karl the Koala....)

* being totally stunned that someone would chase me up Ayer's Rock, propose to me, and still marry me after my angry reaction at being surprised (and hence not in control) with a life altering marriage proposition

* hearing baby Andrew's (my darling now 3-year-old nephew) first cry after sneaking past the first set of double doors I was told not to go through towards the delivery room....

* being entrusted to hold my precious Andrew for the first time, to take him for a walk, to bounce him around just to hear his giggles, and getting to dance and "play rough" with him as he grew older.

* realizing that my "invincibility" at the age of 30 had a name....Bipolar Disorder

* meeting angels on earth who were my shadows, my mirrors and my vindicators through Sheena's Place in 2004

* discovering the confusion, panic and simultaneous peace and tranquility of India in 2005

* surrending to anorexia and embracing Nia in 2006

* being me - honest, transparent, open to the world.


I have been given such gifts.
Tokens of joy that are truly
out of this world.

Sunday Scribblings #41- I just don't get it

I just don't get it.

In that I fully don't understand.

At times what I don't get is myself.

Like why I have these habits.

The temptations that I pretty much instantly regret having engaged in.

Like having that extra pint, or talking myself out of a meal because I'm "not hungry", or sleeping in far too late or widdling away hours on Facebook.

Porquoi?

What makes me talk myself out of logic and into this self betrayal?

And other times, the thing I don't "get" is other people.

The narrow minded, ego centric, simplistic behaviours

The short-sighted, often limiting way of living is something that I don't "get".

Like tossing trash out a car window.

Or toxifying the air while waiting in an idling car for a loved one in the parking lot at Sobeys.

This inability to "get" both myself and others makes me wonder.

Could these clearly irrational behaviours be explained by frontal cortexes which have not fully matured,
incomplete in their dendritic web of connections?

Or is it all stemming from a lack of information? From ignorance? From arrogance?

Huh...

So it turns out that it's the "not getting" why "I just don't get it" that is the problem.

Not getting not getting it is what is incomprehensible to me.

Sunday Scribblings #40- Smorgasbord

Isn't it funny.
My mind is so mixed up.
I'm not really focusing.
Back from a 5 week trip to the land of masala chai, naan, palak paneer, sambar and idly for breakfast, honking horns, stinking pollution and fleas feasting on my ankles, auto-rickshaws, and "yes, m'am, of course m'am",
I must say, that the priorities are nothing but
a SMORGASBORD.
A cornucopia of "ought to" and "have to" tasks.
And I'm tired.
Yes, a little exhausted.
From the sudden imposition of
the race.
The feast of activities.
I'm moving a little slower
and can't keep up.
At least not just yet.
I need to experience a SMORGASBORD of dreams.

India - Wrap Up Post

Here I am back in Canada. I arrived back on Monday (March 10) after 2 sleepless flights spanning about 18 hours in total.

I think a combination of things prevented my sleep.

Firstly, I had mixed feelings about leaving India. The struggle between simplicity and complexity of being there is really quite intriguing. Because of how complicated EVERYTHING is, when I'm there I'm forced to live life paying more attention to necessities and priorities.

Even though a homicidal instinct kicked in each time someone:
~ pulled out their carbon copied note pad to write down my order or purchase in triplicate, or
~ the power went out repeatedly at the end of an unsaved email, or
~ the guy who made my business cards promised to have them ready in "an hour" for days on end,

I learned.

What I learned was to be patient. Here I seem to have no patience. The world whirls around me and sparks this anxious furor to get more and more and more done. So I need to call on my memory of those times to bring myself back to the humour of life.

Secondly, I couldn't sleep so well on those flights because of my issues with Periodic Limb Movement Disorder (PLMD). What goes along with that is something called Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS). So, not only do I have this flinging limb issue (PLMD), but the RLS gives me this feeling in my left leg as though there is something crawling inside. It's a really uncomfortable and bothersome symptom. For some reason, even Gravol and the free booze courtesy of Air France couldn't dull this annoying sensation.
So is it any wonder that I felt more than just a tinge of envy as Trixie slept soundly beside me, almost the entire way?!

Needless to say, the last few days have been a bit topsy turvy. Adjusting to the time zone, weather and cultural changes has really challenged my mind, body, spirit and emotions. Luckily, I have my Nia to keep me going. Thank God for Nia. It is medicine for my being.

There are a few more pictures I wanted to share with you. Here's one of the family home that we stayed in while we were in Mysore. Truly I felt like I was living in a palace. Outside of their gate, we were in India, but inside those gates, it was heaven on earth! Marble floors, HOT water, really inspiring conversation partners, a fully working kitchen (stove and fridge!), and a beautifully manicured garden.


On our last weekend we took an overnight trip to Kushalnagar (District of Coorg, state of Karnataka). We stayed on a Mango Plantation, but can you believe that because there wasn't enough rain in December, there weren't any blooms to turn into mangoes? Gawd, how disappointing...
Nonetheless, I got to spend time with elephants on my birthday!
We went to Dubare Elephant Camp and I got up close and personal with a few massive fellow mammals. Our photographic quests seemed to agitate not only the elephant groomer, but at one point the elephant got startled and started to get up. Hence I was ready to make a quick exit. Trixie was fearless, though, as always!


And finally, I had to include some snaps of my Bollywood Dance teachers in Mysore (at Granduor's Institute of Dance on N.S. Road). Suresh and Prabhakar (whose name sounded like 'Rebecca' when he said it..) were excellent teachers, even though we had no common language other than body language to communicate with. The moves that came out of these brothers was inspiring and if I ever return to Mysore, I'll be spending some serious time at their studio! I came away with some refreshing ideas about how to play with beat and rhythm along with some funkafied new music to play with.

Check out Suresh's "Ladies moves". Too funny!

Jai, Jai India (celebrate India).

CBC News In Depth

I had an interesting chat with a yoga teacher colleague of mine as the winter started to creep in upon us this year. Sarah was telling me how much her Litebook helped her manage the winter months. I checked out what she had written on her blog about it, but couldn't help remembering that my Litebook had actually caused me to become hypomanic in the past.

A few weeks later, Sarah put me in touch with April Scott-Clarke, a writer for CBC news online. April was writing an article about SAD, and wanted to hear my point of view about treatment. I'm afraid I wasn't all that positive about the use of the Litebook, yet I told her lots of other stuff about my coping mechanisms - for example, Nia, good friends and lots of therapy! If you'd like to read the article, take a look here. There are also some really good links on the right hand side bar about various other mental health issues.

India - Sixth Post

I'm nearing the end of this wonderful trip. I have so much more to see and do, but time is running out. I've got a full agenda planned for my next visit!


Here's a picture of fire dancing on the beach in Arambol! Ok, so it's not me, but this is exactly the kind of playing with fire that I aspire to do. I continue to practice my moves here in Mysore under the tutelage of Trixie. I'm hoping that I'll be able to take lessons back in Toronto so I can play on the beach this summer.


This is a photo from back in Arambol when we were doing our Iyengar yoga course. I cannot explain the cinching, blood-constricting pain I felt the first time I hung myself upside down like a bat, but after awhile I quite looked forward to the oxygenating head rush! We were encouraged to practice this before our 6:30am practice. Coming into the yoga hall everyday at 6 am, which was in complete darkness, was a bizarre experience. There were usually 10 or more bodies hanging this way that we had to be careful not to bump into. Our teacher,
Sharat, hangs like this in his hut for one hour each day! One morning I was scolded for hanging only for about 3minutes or so because I was late...


Wanitha Ashok, AFAA (Aerobics and Fitness Association of America)certified fitness trainer and examiner was the woman who made my 2 day Intro to Nia workshop happen in Bangalore. She advertised in local newspapers and brought in over 50 participants, some of whom had travelled from Goa (about 10 hours by train) and Kerala (about 5 hours by train). I was lucky to have a really wide range of participants - from 20-somethings to septogenarians (70ish), everyone took something away and we all learned from each other. Wanitha's a real inspiration - not only is she active in the fitness community but she's also a mom of 2 teenagers and a recycled craft artist who works with waste like used greeting cards,wedding invites and bottles to create new works of original art. Her innovative nature is what brought Nia to India! And who would have thought that Facebook would be responsible for that (Facebook is how we met!).


This is the stage that the people at the Park Regency Hotel made for the workshop. I felt a little like a celebrity, especially after one of the participants gave me a glittery sparkly bangle to wear on the second day. The most fun was when others came up on the stage to join me during free dance and the photographers were taking action shots!

Everyone was really receptive and open to learning about Nia. There was this palpable excitement in the room that keep me fuelled up for this workshop, a first for me. There was much enthusiasm, particularly among the men (can you believe the workshop had 50% men? This is unheard of in North America!).

I couldn't escape the obligatory "class picture", but am now glad that the students insisted on it.

After a really energetic weekend in busy Bangalore, it was so nice to come back to Swaji's house in Mysore and sleep in non roach-infested surroundings (my choice of the Lonely Planet-recommended
Brindavan hotel in Bangalore turned out to be a disappointing one. I had a constant battle with the many staff who chose to leave half-eaten room service trays outside my door which invited the nasty critters in). Best of all was cuddling with Tashi's(Swaji's dog) 2 puppies after they'd had their feeding from mom!